Harry Potter And Death's Kingdom
by Potter's Tardis
Summary: After being nearly beaten to death by the Dursleys at the age of 6, Harry discovers a awesome secret... HE IS THE DEVIL'S SON. Join Harry, Dad Devil and Uncle Death (I know right!) as they re-create the kingdom of hell... There is currently a poll on my profile on whether or not Dumbledore should be a manipulative old codger!
1. The start of the journey

_Harry Potter_

_Death's Kingdom_

Harry James Potter is a 6 year old who lives with his relatives, the Dursleys. They were quite possible the worst example of a human being there is.

Vernon Dursley, the 'man of the house' was, quite simply, a baby elephant. He had a non-exist neck, a moustache and blond hair.

Petunia Dursley, Harry's aunt, had black hair and a large, slim neck (useful as she always looked through windows!)

Dudley Dursley, Harry's cousin, was a pig in a (blond) wig.

It was a _normal_ day in Harry's life. He was making bacon on Dudley's birthday whilst said gorilla was opening presents.

"DADDY! WHERE IS MY PRESENT FROM YOU!" Screeched the hyperactive mini-whale.

"He's right here son…" Vernon trailed of looking at Harry.

"What?" Asked Harry and Dudley at the same time.

"Well for five years me and your mother found it in the goodness of our hearts to look after this freak here." He responded looking at said _freak_.

"So we are letting you kill him." Said Vernon joyfully.

Harry felt fear like he'd never known before as Petunia gave Dudley a box of blood stained belts.

The next hour was pure torture for Harry. He felt like he was going to die!

His emerald eyes were starting to lose their light now. His last thoughts before he fell to unconsciousness were _'help'_

Little did he know, the moment he thought those words, a skeleton with a hooded robe brought his scythe through Vernon extracting the pig-like-man's soul…


	2. Hello Son, I'm The Devil

Chapter 1:

"Hello son, I'm the Devil"

Harry woke feeling that something wasn't right…

Was he at the Dursleys'? Check

Was he alive? Check

Was anything different? No

A skeleton in a black robe who had a scythe standing over the bodies of his relatives? Chewaaaaaat!

'That was what was different' Harry thought to himself.

"Hello Harry!" The figure spoke in a deep, calm voice which demanded respect.

"I am Death and I am your uncle!" He trailed of as Harry had once again lost consciousness…

When Harry woke again he saw the figure who claimed to be death sitting in a chair reading a book on female anatomy.

"Ah, so your awake are you? Can't blame you really I mean, it isn't every day that you meet the coolest of the horsemen himself!" Death continued.

Harry could only nod at that.

"So I guess I should explain why I'm here other those three worthless sacks of less other there." Death said pointing a bony figure in the direction of the dead Dursley's bodies.

For some unknown reason, Death created a bed with a wave of his hand.

"Sit down Harry, what I am about to tell you may come as a bit of a shock.

So, I guess I will begin with…

_-Flashback- _

_The war between Heaven and Hell had been going on for centuries. Millions of demons and angels died every day in the battle for ultimate victory._

_But no more after today…_

_After today, the war would end and only one side would come out victorious._

_On one side we have the angels of Heaven. These are battling for the safety of all in their afterlives. These are led by God and his son._

_On the other side are the demons of Hell. These are battling for the freedom of all beings, alive or not. These are led by The Devil and Death. _

_The battle was furious, warriors on both sides died until the '_big ones'_ battled. The leaders locked in furious combat until the warriors from Hell defeated their enemies. The leaders of Heaven were at their feet pleading to allow their warriors to live until The Devil said something that shocked all:_

"_For too long has this battle raged around the innocent. We have to find a way around this conflict for the sake of those who are innocent."_

_-End Flashback-_

As Death finished his tale he noticed that Harry was open mouthed and he had an awe-struck look on his face.

Death let out a barely noticeable smile.

"The leaders agreed that our kingdom, Hell, would house those who are guilty whilst Heaven those who are innocent. Ahh, I still remember the celebrations that took place after that declaration…" He said fondly.

"Anyway, come on Harry, you have a meeting with the big guy himself!" Death told the boy.

After being told to grab hold of his arm, Death 'shadow walked' the 2 of them left the shadow world and proceeded to the 'great hall' as Death told Harry.

As they walked, Harry took in the HUGE corridors. The walls were midnight black with the same coloured slabs. The corridor seemed to vibrate with a dark, mystical energy which in a way _comforted_ Harry. The candles on the walls seemed to give the place an eerie feeling.

At the end of the passage there were to giant dark oak doors which were thrown open when they were close enough to just miss getting hit by the. When they walked through them Harry's first impression was that the _great_ was truly deserved. Both size wise and appearance wise.

Unlike the rest of the place (he didn't know where they were.)

In the centre of the hall there was a rectangular table. There were perfectly carved oak chairs all around it. In the head seat was a man-type-thing in a suit. He had red skin and horns. He had wings which pierced the back of his back of his black business suit. There was only one person this could be.

There, in front of him, was The Devil.

"Hello Son, I'm The Devil." When the meaning of those words became known to Harry, he fainted for the 3rd time that day.

"How many times has that happened?" Said a bemused Devil.

"3rd time today mate." Responded Death whilst said head of Hell left his chair to see if his son was alright.


	3. Getting Settled

Getting Settled

The next few days had been pure Heaven (…) for the emerald eyed kid. After getting over the shock of finding out that his Father was the Devil, he learnt a few interesting facts about his uncle and dad.

Firstly, when he caught Death reading about female anatomy it hadn't been for real educational means like said embarrassed uncle had pointed out.

Secondly, the appearances of the grim reaper and a demon were just for intimidation whilst their real appearances were that of humans.

Although his father had ruby red eyes which could melt an iceberg his uncle was REALLY different.

He had eyes which were as black as night and a strange symbol in the centre of them. It was that of a triangle with a line going straight through it with a circle in it.

Death said that it was the symbol of the Deathly Hallows which he invented to:" Test 3 young humans… and only one of them passed. He's in my castle now, looking through documents which will be used in the apocalypse."

After begging with his best puppy dog expression, Death finally related in giving Harry a piece of a copy which read:

_Apocalypse _

_Doc. 1501_

_I, Toby Antonio Devil 1__st__, hereby grant the head of the Death Department, senior undersecretary to Fate and 2__nd__ in command of the Hell forces, the following pardons:_

_Firstly, whence the French come to the waiting room, they shall meet the Germans in Hell,_

_Secondly, whence the Germans come to the waiting room, an angle of Death shall lead them to the gates of Hell, where they shall wait for then French_

_And finally, my thrice command is that all lawyers shall be set upon by demons, as they are monsters!_

_Signed,_

_Toby Antonio Devil 1__st__,_

_Head of the Hell council,_

_Leader of the Hell forces,_

_Master of all Dark forces,_

_The Devil_

Harry would have died of laughter because of his dad's name if it wasn't impossible to die in one of the 'Fortresses Of The Warriors Of Hell.'

When he got home, he had to hide his smirk when he called him Toby.

He could remember it as if it was yesterday

_-Flashback-_

_Harry had just gotten back to the castle when he headed to the nick-named 'Living Room.' Moving through the mystique halls, Harry became aware of the faint tune to 'Mission Impossible.' Guess it is, isn't it…_

_As Harry pushed open the magnificent oak doors, he once again remembered what the word 'luxury' meant. _

_The sight that meted him was still a breath taking one._

_It was a square room, it was fairly large with a bookcase on the furthest away wall. There were plenty on texts on magic like 'The Forbidden Arts: A Guide to offensive magic' by 'Myrddin Emrys'._

'_I can't believe that magic exists AND MERLIN WAS REAL!' He thought to himself. He couldn't wait to next year, which was when he would learn about magic._

_On the left side of a room were black wardrobes and the like with windows littered around whilst on the right was a large black fireplace which was housing orange flames which were dancing away like it was a ball._

_In the centre of the room was a large, rectangular table which was a meter wide and 5 meters long for in- formal meals such as lunch when there weren't any guests. _

_There was an EXTREMELY comfy sofa on a 5 meter side of said table which was facing the fire (the sofa and NOT the oak table) and there were plump chairs on the other parts of it._

_Apart from said huge decoration there were chairs which were in a semi-circle around the built in fire. Toby was sat in the chair exactly opposite the flames whilst reading a book on…_

_Well, let's just say the title made Harry have _thoughts.

"_Good morning, Harry I trust you created destruction everywhere you went." He said his greeting in his actual form and not the intimidation one. In this he stood at a respectable 6 feet._

_He had long, black shoulder length hair and was fairly well built. Today he was wearing a blood red T-shirt to match his eyes, an emerald jacket to suit Harry's , Black-as-night jeans and a silver belt with the Devil crest on it._

_(This was of a demon with two swords in the background.)_

"_Morning Toby, I believe that you have something to say." Replied Harry. _

"_What are you…" His dad trailed of as a look of rage appeared on his face. The things Death were doing at that moment (probably reading about females) were interrupted by his name being bellowed across the globe. _

_-End Flashback-_

'Ah… time for another day of absolute comedy…'

**Hello peoples, I hope that you enjoyed the chapter.**

**The reason that it took so long to get this posted is because of writer's block. I hope that it is up to your standards and that you enjoy the next update.**


	4. Update 1

Update

Hello 'ickle peoplez, how ya doin'? Now, you may be asking yourself 'hey, PT, why are ya not uploading chapters to stories every day?'

Well, the answer is more or less simple! And the answer is (WARNING: The Next Pieces Of Text Are Un-important, you may skip ahead!) as simple as the simplest thing in the history of simple things in the dimension of simple things, in the universe of simple things, in the centre solar system of the simple existence! And that is the perspective of what you believe is the truth (head blows up after you attack me) OUCH! OI, WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?! Any-who, what was I talking about. Anyway the straight up answer is I wasn't inspired AKA not in my writer's mode so therefore could not write to the best of my brilliant ability which by far out classes any of you! (Just kidding, you know that I love you, well not the males as I am not gay.)

Anyway, I found that I was a right ******* for not updating anything and dedicating myself to actually giving suggestions for stories!

Now, to the more important things and wow that has taken up a full document page (wide eyes) anyway, I have overdone the irritating comedian act now. I want you to know that my stories will NEVER be abandoned! They will always be there as long as anyone who reads them likes them! Ok, that sounded like I was stopping this story now but I will never stop it and, if I do, will make a sequel and, who knows, even more? (Subtle hint, hint.)

I want to say that Harry will most likely NOT be going to Hogwarts and, if he does, will be the main topic of the school and girls will be dropping at his feet. Sorry, I am just incapable of not writing a Super! Harry or Godlike! Harry when I am not writing an Orion Lysander (which I will NEVER stop!) or Merlin story. Anyway, getting of hand so yeah. If Harry DOES go to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry he will be the talk of the school and the girls will love him, yet Harry will NEVER fall in love! I am going to do it so there are things like 'over the next few days, there was nothing on anyone's minds but the how Harry…' This is because, admit it, you believe that you need to read a story where Harry is a super cool, awesome guy who is bad*** who NO-ONE can defeat, and can beat with a thought. Sorry, I know that he would be INSANLY overpowered and the story would most likely suck unless I managed to work out the plot to be more epic.

Just to tell you right now, in none of my stories will there be swears as I find that other words are more descriptive.

I will now tell you what I am planning to do with this story and the things I COULD have done better:

I believe that, if there were to be a fight between Heaven and Hell, the latter would never stand a chance. Plus, I am usually light! I am planning live up to the descriptions name…..BOOM (laughs.) Sorry about that, I was writing this whilst listening to music which makes you feel excited.

Now, if you saw my profile page you will see I use numerous ways to describe Voldemort. There is: Tom, his birth name, Snakeface, which speaks for it-self, Mr I speak French and finally, Mr Flight from death.

I use the latter two because, in French Vol de mort means 'Flight from Death.' Yeah, there is no way on Earth that this is a coincidence! (We all know that Voldemort's worst fear is death, right?)

Anyway my friends I bid you adieu!

(Oh and stay tune for the next update which WILL be a chapter!)

_Preview of a future chapter_

"_Harry, you know how I said that the great Myrddin died…" Said the Devil to his son._

"_Yes." Harry replied curiously._

"_He never gone to claim reward."_

"_But that means…" Replied Harry whilst excitement flooded his body "Merlin is still alive!_


	5. The Talk And The Birds And The Bees

**NEW CHAPTER! Yes, that is right my faithful readers-**

***Yeah, right!***

**SHUT IT AV! Sorry about that, if you don't know who AV is then you should read my notepad. Anyway, the Joker couldn't kill him but, well let's just say one of his kicks made sure he won't have any kids any time soon (smirks!) Anyway, yes I stopped being mean and am updating again, I might not have as much time to write as the weekend/holidays are up :(**

**Disclaimer* I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. ONLY THE STORY LINE AND CHARACTERS LIKE THE DEVIL AND DEATH.**

The Talk And The Birds And The Bees

It had been a year since Harry had caused Death to p*ss his robes in fright and in that time he had grown quite a bit. He no longer resembled the scared little 6 year old he once was. Despite being 7 he resembled an 8 year old in terms of height.

His hair was now long and straight. Gone were the old glasses and rags he was once so well known for having the misfortune to be wearing 24-7. He was now fairly well built, so much so that when he and his family went out he had attracted some looks from the female population. His stunning emerald eyes which sparkled with mischievousness also helped with that fact (Death had teased him mercilessly.) He had taken to wearing black jeans, t-shirt and had a silver belt with the Devil coat of arms on it.

Our young hero was currently in his bedroom reading a book. This was not an unnatural case, seeing as how he was pretty much a nerd! Anyway, just imagine a grand bathroom, it has to be large and have its' own bathroom along with some bookshelves.

This book was titled _'The Forbidden Arts by Rednasyl Noior':_

_Flammam flagellum – Draw a line with your wand – This creates a whip made of flame._

_Surgite mortui – Point your wand at a corpse or slash it across corpses – This makes corpses rise and obey your every command._

_Recreo – Follow the incantation by a line downwards and a circular motion anticlockwise - This spell has the ability to revive all plants, food and trees._

_Interficio – Whilst saying this make a slashing motion and a body length anticlockwise motion with your wand - This spell will kill your opponent in a blast of black flame._

_Phasma – Point your wand at your heart while you say the incantation – It allows you to leave your body as a ghost. Your body will stop working but will restart as soon as your soul re-enters it._

_Fulmen – Just point your wand – It will shoot lightning. WARNING: it is hard to control._

_Ignis – Just aim your wand - It will shoot a tornado of fire. WARNING: it is hard to control._

_Scutum Amrois – Draw a circle with your wand – This CAN block any spell._

_Gladius Ex Odio – Make an upwards motion with your wand – Your magic will turn itself into a sword made of hate. This can only be blocked by the Scutum spell._

_Fuga mortem – This will take you out of Death's reach. WARNING: You will have a cursed life and the symbol of the Deathly Hallows burned in your flesh._

_Surge et cecidit Victoria tecum – This spell is very dangerous - It purpose is to make a zombie out of a corpse._

_Quattuor Equites – Point your wand at your enemy – This spell brings forth the four horsemen._

He was interrupted from his musings by a knock on the door.

"Come in." Harry said and in came his Farther, The Devil.

"Son, to put it simply, I believe it is time for you to learn about the Wizarding World." Harry's face then lit up.

"Ok, well, put that book away and get in the covers." Harry obeyed and once he was comfortable, his Father continued.

Eventually hours later, they were up at what his Father called the Godric's Hallow disaster.

"One day, on Halloween of '81, Voldemort came to Godric's Hallow. You see, one of his Death Eater spies had heard a prophecy speaking of an unborn baby who had the power to destroy him. It went like this:

_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches,_

_Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies,_

_And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not,_

_And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives,_

_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…_

"Well, when he came to the Potters' he blew down the door and heard James Potter shout to his wife '_Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!_' Well, this had absolutely no meaning whatsoever as Voldemort destroyed the door and hit James with an 'Avada Kedavra.'

"He then proceeded up stairs to the nursery, killing your mother who had thrown herself between the killing curse which was meant for you.

"The Dark Lord then decided that he would attempt to kill you again. He done this by shooting the killing curse at you and then, the unthinkable happened, YOU SERVIVED! The Avada Kedavra bounced of your forehead (Harry touched his scar) and hit Voldemort."

"He's dead right?" Asked Harry.

Toby only smiled…

"And now," the Devil continued "I believe it is time for you to know the story of The Birds And The Bees…" Harry's eyes, understandable, bulged.

Devil Jr's training started soon after that. Death was teaching him all the boring stuff, like maths and theory, Harry noticed he had been very p*ssed when they were talking about Horcruxes…

The Devil, however taught Harry all the 'cool' stuff as Harry had so happily put it. This ranged from occlumency & legilimency to new magic & old religion to martial arts &, well EVERYTHING that wasn't theory. (This, much to Harry's dislike, included flirting which Harry overheard Toby telling Death was something Harry was very good at, even though he was AWESOME at everything else.)

Harry also had, sometimes, lessons which his Father had labeled 'Rituals.' And it was practically just that, they performed rituals. Harry had wanted to do one practically every day, yet his Father had said that rituals affected the user's magic, and therefore Harry's magical core (it was one of the largest ever, second only to Merlin's) had to update. And like everything being updated, the magical core had taken a while to adjust.

Of course, his new magic sadly required a wand before he could do it wandless, which he done everything with. So, after extensive meditating, Harry had, rather than make a wand, made a staff…

**Yes, I know, I have A LOT of ideas when it comes to magic…**

**I hope you enjoyed the staff idea, I know it is a bit overdone, but I have very crafty ideas.**

**Ok, please review and I hope you had a good day. With any look, this chapter will be up to your standards and, well, have a nice day.**

**-PT :)**


End file.
